Why men and high performers are so tense

I was sitting in my office. Another round of overtime. Another day where my shoulders felt like concrete. Another day with that clamp-like pressure in my neck.

This was 2021.
I had everything I thought I wanted.
Business was good.
Money came in.
Travel was possible.
On paper, I was successful.

But my body was telling a completely different story.

The Male High Performer — a Time Bomb on Two Legs

Let me be honest. I was the cliché.
The guy who thinks he can solve everything with willpower.
The one who believes breaks are for the weak.
The one who treats his body like a machine that must simply keep running.

Shoulders raised.
Jaw clenched.
Lower back one big knot.

But hey — that’s part of the deal, right?
Success has a price.
Hustle culture and all that.

Here’s what I finally understood:
This is the deal men make. We trade our bodies for success.
We ignore our signals because we think that makes us strong.

The truth?
It breaks us.

Why Men Hold Tension Differently

Women go to massage.
Men go to the doctor when it’s already too late.

That’s the difference.

It took me years to understand why my body felt like one massive trigger point.
The answer is simple.

Men hold tension differently.
We store stress in the shoulders, neck, and jaw.
It comes from how we move through life — chest out, shoulders back, always ready for battle.

Then there’s testosterone.
It naturally increases muscle tone.
Good for strength.
Terrible when combined with:

• chronic stress

• too much sitting

• poor posture

• unresolved pressure

That’s when tension becomes rigidity.

And then there’s the high performer mindset…

The High Performer Trap

High performers all share one belief:

We can optimize everything.

Optimize sleep.
Optimize nutrition.
Optimize productivity.
Optimize training.

But relaxation?
That’s “unnecessary.”
A waste of time.
Something for people who don’t want enough.

I used to be exactly like that.

Perfect morning routine.
Perfect supplements.
Perfect productivity blocks.

Meanwhile, my body was quietly imploding.

We treat our bodies like another project — measurable, controllable, trackable.
But the body is not a project.
It’s an organism.

And organisms need recovery.

My Story — From Burnout to Massage

2021 was my breaking point.
Jet-set life.
Business here, meeting there.
Always available.
Always performing.

Until my body said: Enough.

It happened in Chiang Mai.
I could barely turn my head.
My shoulders were so tense I woke up at night.
My lower back hurt with every step.

A friend told me:
“Go to Dao. She’s the best.”

Dao — the Woman Who Gave Me My Body Back

Dao is maybe 50.
Small.
Strong.
And with hands that know what’s wrong before you do.

My first session with her was life-changing — and painful.
She found every single trigger point in my body.
And she worked on them:

• with elbows

• with knees

• with pressure that made me groan

After two hours I could move my head again.
My shoulders hung differently.
My back felt longer.

That was 2021.
Ever since, I go to Dao every time I return to Chiang Mai.

What Dao Taught Me

Dao barely speaks English — but she doesn’t need to.
She speaks the language of the body.

She taught me what I had overlooked in all my optimization attempts:

Your body is always talking. You just have to listen.

Every time I visited her, she found something new:

• the right shoulder from too much laptop work

• the left hip from an uneven gait

• the neck from overthinking

Dao works with rare presence.
Every movement intentional.
Every pressure point precise.
No rushing.
Two hours — sometimes more.

After each session, I felt different:
more awake, more centered, more grounded.
As if my nervous system had finally stepped out of fight-or-flight.

That is Thai massage at its best — and that is what I want to bring to Austria with HIMALYA.

What Happens Inside a High Performer’s Body

Let’s get scientific.

When you live in high-performance mode, your sympathetic nervous system is constantly active — your fight-or-flight system.

It’s designed for danger.
Not for daily emails, deadlines, notifications, and back-to-back meetings.

But the body doesn’t know the difference.

So it reacts with:

• permanently elevated muscle tension

• reduced recovery

• shallow breathing

• metabolic stress

• mental overload

Your muscles are always preparing for action.
This drains energy and creates chronic tightness.

Now add posture:

• hours at the laptop

• rounded shoulders

• head pushed forward

• lower back collapsing

And you get a body under full-time stress.

Muscles harden → fascia sticks → joints lose mobility → pain increases → performance drops.

Why Men Suffer More

There are biological and cultural reasons.

Biology:

• More muscle mass

• Higher baseline muscle tension

• Testosterone-driven tone

Good for strength.
Bad when the tension never stops.

Culture:

Men are trained to:

• ignore pain

• “man up”

• keep pushing

• avoid asking for help

Women seek treatment earlier.
Men wait until something breaks.

I was exactly like that — until Dao showed me what “normal” could feel like.

The Connection Between Mind and Body

This is something Dao taught me that no productivity system ever could:

The mind and body are not separate. They are one system.

Stress in the mind → tension in the body.
Tension in the body → more stress in the mind.

A vicious cycle.

High performers live inside that cycle.

Thai massage breaks it.
When the body releases, the mind follows.

After sessions with Dao:

• I thought more clearly

• I made better decisions

• My creativity increased

Not because of magic — but because my nervous system finally calmed down.

What Massage Truly Means for High Performers

For years, massage was a “luxury” to me.
A reward.
Something for special occasions.

Completely wrong.

Massage is:

equal to sleep, nutrition, or training — a fundamental recovery tool.

High performers understand recovery in fitness.
But not in life.

You cannot perform without recovery.

Massage is one of the most effective ways to:

• reduce baseline tension

• restore joint mobility

• calm the nervous system

• improve cognitive clarity

It is not indulgence.
It is maintenance.

My Routine with Dao in Chiang Mai

Since 2021:

• 2× per week

• sometimes 3×

• always 2 hours

• always full traditional Thai massage

Dao knows my body better than I do.
She feels tension before I am aware of it.

Each session builds on the previous one.
Tension releases layer by layer.

My body becomes:

• freer

• stronger

• more resilient

Massage is now part of my life — as essential as work.

What Chiang Mai Taught Me About Recovery

The West thinks recovery is passive:
couch, Netflix, escape.

Real recovery is active:

You do something that restores your body.

Thai massage is active recovery.

Your body works, releases, reorganizes itself.
You get real regeneration.

The Male Fear of Touch

Many men avoid massage because of discomfort with touch.

We’re conditioned to be:

• tough

• self-reliant

• invulnerable

Touch feels “soft” or “weak.”

This is nonsense.

Touch is biological nourishment for the nervous system.
Therapeutic touch is medicine.

Allowing someone to work on your body isn’t weakness —
it’s maturity.
It’s awareness.
It’s responsibility.

What HIMALYA Does for Men and High Performers

This is why HIMALYA exists:

Because men and high performers need real bodywork —
not wellness, not surface-level relaxation, but deep, effective treatment.

I work exactly with the intensity, precision, and presence I experienced with Dao.

If you come to me, you get:

• real pressure

• real technique

• real results

This is not a spa service.
This is high-performance recovery.

The Hard Facts About Staying Tense

If you remain tense for years:

• chronic pain becomes normal

• mobility decreases

• posture collapses

• sleep worsens

• focus and creativity drop

• burnout becomes inevitable

And the worst part?
Men think it’s “normal.”

It is not.

The Difference Regular Massage Makes

For me, everything changed:

• lower baseline tension

• better sleep

• clearer thinking

• more energy

• higher performance

Massage became my highest ROI habit.

What You Should Do Now

If you recognize yourself in this article —
if you’re a man or a high performer whose body is paying the price —

It’s time to change something.

Start with one session.
Feel what happens when your body finally lets go.

At HIMALYA, I work with the same intensity and awareness Dao taught me.

Your body is not optional.
It is your most important asset.

Treat it that way.

Bio Translation

Lukas discovered the power of real Thai massage in Chiang Mai in 2021. Since then, he has trained regularly with Dao, who taught him that recovery is performance. This experience became the foundation of HIMALYA — traditional Thai massage for men and high performers in Austria.